I’m not sure what to make of this. I’ve been informally keeping track of various polls that have been released over the last few years. It seems that most of the polling organizations are either polling the exact same 74% of the population, or they’re just assuming that 3 out of 4 people agree with their viewpoint and don’t bother polling at all.

I think you’ll find these examples quite interesting:

74% of Americans think that Congress is out of touch. Let’s not forget that the recently deceased Mr. Studds is a former DEMOCRAT congressman who had an affair with a congressional page in the 80s. You can’t chop down the cherry tree because of one rotten apple.

74% of Americans think that Bush is a liar. Really? Name one thing Bush has lied about. You can’t, because he hasn’t. WMDs? Nope, not a lie. Wire tapping? Nope, he didn’t lie then either. Bush has a little something they used to call “honor”, it’s hard to recognize in this day and age, but he’s no liar (unlike some recent Democratic presidents I can think of).

74% think the drug war is being lost. Lost? How so? We’re continuing to cripple the drug industry, just last week there was a huge sting that brough down one of the biggest importers of knock-off Viagra. I also don’t know a single drug addict or dealer personally. I know they exist, but it’s been years since I’ve seen one. In college I knew several people who used dope regularly.

74% think Osama is planning another attack. I’m sure he has a lot more important things to worry about, like how not to get his beard singed by the constant barrage of American missiles he’s endured since 2001. He’s either dead, or wishes he was. He’s not planning anything folks—our war on terror, that the cry-babies think is such a failure, made sure of that.

74% of American’s want to kill children. Don’t give me your “right to choose” BS. Those stem cells never got to choose anything in their life. I’m sure that the late, great Ronald Reagan is fuming mad looking down on his wife from heaven as she besmurches his proud legacy with her murderous campaign to destroy viable embryos.

74% think college athletics conflict with the values of higher education. Do you really think those 400 pound linebackers would even be in college if they weren’t built like a brick wall? College athletics provides a valuable path to success for many plus sized students. By discontinuing college sports you’ll be not only holding back a large portion of the black community, but also increasing violence and crime as those would-be sports stars revert to their previous gang activity.

74% of Americans want to give teens a safe place to view immoral material on the internet. Unmonitored computers in libraries? Great idea. What’s next, stripper poles in high-school gymnasiums? Parents have a responsibility to make sure their kids aren’t viewing any nudity on the internet. How can they do that if their children can simply go to a library and view all the porn they want for free? In my house we have a rule against libraries. For the last 3 years since the girls got a little older, they are forbidden to go to any library without being accompanied by my wife or me.

74% think that George Clooney is a viable source of news. The war in Darfur is bad, don’t get me wrong, but let’s keep everything in perspective. The war on terror threatens the fiber of American society, I highly doubt that an African genocide is ever going to fly a plane into an American building. Let’s keep our troops where they belong, in the middle-east.

74% are egotistical enough to think that they somehow control the fate of the world with the car they drive. Face it folks, global warming has gone the way of evolution. It’s ancient scientific history. This is 2006, if you want to drive a fruity little hybrid, it’s fine with me—just keep it in the slow-lane so I can get by.

74% disapprove of Bush’s handling of gas prices. Is this a joke? Sure I saw the Michael Moore movie too, big news: the Bush family was in the oil business! Running the country is a full time job, he’s handed over the day-to-day operations long ago. I realize this is just a non-specific piece of data, but I think it’s unethical to ask a sitting president to make special considerations for the country by leveraging his personal corporate assets or ties.

74% of the people who complain about the economy want to destroy it with a socialist tax plan. You can’t have it both ways people. Pick a side already. Do you want to make the rich richer, or do you want to make the poor poorer?

74% have explored online dating. This is code for pedophelia, which is pretty much the only type of “dating” going on online. You’ve seen Dateline’s “To Catch a Pervert”, if your the sort of person who tries to get a date online, chances are you’re one small step away from preying on underage children whose parents have “overlooked” their duty to monitor their children’s internet usage. Date the old fashioned way or don’t date at all. The temptation to become a pedophile is far to great if you’re looking online for a partner.

74%-92% of Americans appose letting mexican criminals get a Presidential pardon. Finally, something they got right!