Chimpanzees living in the West African savannah have been observed fashioning deadly spears from sticks and using the tools to hunt small mammals — the first routine production of deadly weapons ever observed in animals other than humans.

As an expert in the field of Sasquatch research, I was notified of these findings shortly after the observations were made. Needless to say I was pretty excited—especially because I may have played a fairly large role in this event (I’ll explain in a moment). Sadly, after reading numerous articles on this discovery, I was again disappointed to see that some seemingly obvious conclusions about the Sasquach/Chimpanzee connection had once again been ignored by the scientific community.

This is the first proof we have showing clearly that a superior creature has taught less-developed creatures knowledge it likely learned by observing humans. The only time this has happened in nature is when man has trained his pets to do certain tasks.

I said I’d elaborate on my involvement in this story. I’ll do so now. Yes, this story especially interested me because several years ago I was a participant in one of the first Sasquatch research expeditions to travel to Africa. For those who have never been there, Africa is a very large place and we had to spend a lot of time waiting around for things to happen. During our downtime we devised several inventive ways to pass the time. Unfortunately several of our guides passed the time engaging in discreet homosexual activities (they were replaced immediately before they were able to jeopardize the expedition)—as for the rest of us, we began to compete against each other in spear-throwing competitions.

These events would go on for days and generated quite a bit of noise, it’s no surprise to me that our frivolity may have alerted local Sasquatch of our presence and they very well could have observed us and even picked up a thing or two.

Sadly, we left that expedition with very little data, but when I heard from my guide (not either of the gay ones, I haven’t spoken to either of them since that trip) that these Chimpanzees had been participating in similar activities, I immediately made the connection.

It’s unfortunate that the scientific community is unable to recognize the obvious.