Jesus said that Chuck Norris is the greatest martial artists of all time.
Chuck Norris is too humble to admit it outright, but he and I both know the truth…and so does Jesus. In Chuck’s recent article he points out that it is he, himself, who is humble enough to be the champion. But because he is so humble, he can only give us small clues to his greatness and let us do the math ourselves.
From Chuck’s article:
So who’s the greatest?
The truth is I’m not worthy enough to answer that. But there is One who is. And His answer applies to the martial arts as well as any other field of discipline, study or work.
When an argument broke out among Jesus’ disciples as to who was the greatest, He called over a child to their sides, then replied, “Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest … those who are the greatest should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant.”
It isn’t being the greatest champion, but the greatest servant that ultimately matters. I know that might seem easy for me to say, having been a six-time world champion, but I mean it. It took me too many years to realize that it isn’t the ladders we climb but the service we offer in this life that truly makes us great.
There you have it. I couldn’t agree more.
Gitty wrote:
This got me to thinkin and stuff. Chuck Norris is the most kick assest fighter ever. But.. what if Jesus took a swing at Chuck after a couple Miller Lites? Could Chuck kick Jesuses ass?
Posted on 22-May-07 at 4:17 pm | Permalink
speedball wrote:
You are an idiot. As powerful as Chuck Norris is, Jesus could beat the crap out of anyone he wanted with ease.
Posted on 22-May-07 at 4:50 pm | Permalink
Gitty wrote:
But Jesus said: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. (Matthew 5:39)
If Jesus is gonna open hisself up for a reverse backfist strike, I think Chuck has a pretty good chance. Especially if the Lord been knocking back a few.
Posted on 23-May-07 at 10:38 am | Permalink
speedball wrote:
I’m sorry, but that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
First off, Jesus would never drink to the point where he was so impaired that he couldn’t defend himself. But also, he can see the future AND use pretty much anything or anyone as a weapon. So if someone was going to attack him, he would know it already and probably wouldn’t drink anything at all so he’d be ready. Plus, if it looked like he’d need to be ready, he could turn something into a weapon. He was able to turn water into wine, and I’m just speculating, but he could easily turn something like candlesticks into nunchucks…or a plate into a shield.
I’m not suggesting that Chuck Norris isn’t a worthy adversary, I’m just saying that nobody would stand a chance against Jesus.
Posted on 23-May-07 at 11:26 am | Permalink
Gitty wrote:
Ok so you got me on Jesus being too drunk to fight Chuck Norris.
But what if Chuck opened up with the Dim Mak Touch of Death? All the candles in the world wouldn’t help Jesus then. Jesus would look into the future and think ‘damn, that Chuck Norris is one bad ass.’
He probly wouldn’t fight Jesus, but ifin he did? My money’s on Chuck.
Posted on 23-May-07 at 11:47 am | Permalink
speedball wrote:
Well, let’s say hypothetically that Jesus didn’t have any of his powers and it was just man against man. I still think Jesus would take him. Chuck Norris may be a powerful martial artist, but he also is accustomed to the luxuries that fame and wealth afford. Jesus has spent significant time facing the brutalities of the environment, building callouses on his feet by walking barefoot or in simple sandals…I simply think he’s tougher than pampered Norris.
Posted on 23-May-07 at 12:03 pm | Permalink
Gitty wrote:
Yeah. I was thinkin of a Chuck Norris in his prime, when he could get beat up by Bruce Lee and not die. Jesuses leathry skin might give some extra protection but livin on just bread and wine ain’t good eatin, though.
Anyway, I gotta agree. Hell Chuck even has a machine that exsersizes hisself. He probly ain’t seen a barbell in years. Any episode of Walker will show that much.
Posted on 23-May-07 at 1:55 pm | Permalink