Is the diaper-wearing astronaut returning to space, never to come home?
As most of my fellow members of ASS (Amateur Spacer Society) will attest, as soon as the incident with bediapered astronaut, Lisa Nowak, occurred—I immediately said “Suicide Mission Candidate.”
Of course I was talking about our immediate need for American astronauts willing to sacrifice their lives for the greater good, primarily the good of science and exploration. It’s been clear from the beginning that our current technologies for space travel are inadequate to support round-trip missions to the deepest corners of our solar system. Manned missions to the outer reaches of our solar system are only possible if we don’t send enough fuel and materials for a return trip. The big question has always been: “Who would we send?”
We’ve always known it should be a woman astronaut, especially during this time of war when all able-bodied men need to stay Earth-side in the event they’re needed for the war effort—either in a traditional sense, or even to drop bombs from space—but our weak-stomached society of pansies can’t take the thought of sacrificing someone for science, or anything else. Well, I believe the choice has been made for us.
Who better to send on a one way-trip to the cosmos than someone who has proven her own inability to be a productive member of society AND has all the necessary qualifications as an astronaut? Lisa Nowak is not just a qualified candidate, she’s our only hope.
I proposed at an ASS meeting a few months ago that we impregnate Nowak and send her along on her mission. The impregnation would serve to not only keep her busy during the long flight, but also to possibly help ensure the propagation of our species on other planets…as long as she has twins and they also breed when they arrive.
There are some details to work out, but it looks like the process is starting sooner than I expected. Yesterday, Orange County Circuit Court Judge Marc Lubet paved the way for her exodus by ordering her cumbersome ankle-bracelet to be removed.
Today, Texas. Tomorrow, the universe.
Kiquer wrote:
At 44 years of age, Lisa Nowak is a poor choice for a human Noah’s Ark.
She could certainly be impregnated with a suitable breeding pair, but the chances of both coming to term is not certain enough for such a project.
In the 1940s ARPA was investigating the feasability of both space exploration and colonization. Their research path became fairly obvious after the 1947 incident in Roswell, New Mexico.
Posted on 31-Aug-07 at 9:02 pm | Permalink
Gitty wrote:
Obvious? What, that they need that GPS map thing to stop crashing into aliens?
I think the best thing about Nowak goin is that she probably wants to. I mean, if I got caught doing what she done I’d be too embarrassed to stay on Earth. Not sayin I ain’t done that, just if I got caught.
Posted on 03-Sep-07 at 12:28 pm | Permalink
Julie65 wrote:
I had Lisa Caputo (Nowak) in a few of my classes at Woodward High. She was nice and very smart. It’s a shame the bored media has made a big deal out of difficulties in her personal life.
How is Lisa possibly related to some nutjob UFO conspiracy?
Posted on 03-Sep-07 at 11:05 pm | Permalink
Kiquer wrote:
“Obvious”, because people think Conspiracy happens when the “powers that be” hide Truth from the general population. Obvious, because the general population supposedly “can’t handle the Truth”. And obvious, of course, because what is hidden is always something illogical and fascinating. Conspiracy is always something the general population will “Want to Believe.”
Real conspiracy occurs when the truth is ugly, penalties are high, and there is a substitute Urban Myth waiting. Occult Knowledge (that which has been “cut off from veiw”) is easy to find if you search out, and then look behind, those myths.
Posted on 03-Sep-07 at 11:23 pm | Permalink
Kiquer wrote:
If you send a healthy Adam and Eve pair into space, they weigh about 300 lbs. You could send mini jockey type astronauts, but the dream of restarting the human race involves robust, beautiful specimens. “Midgets on Mars” is not a way to keep project funding.
Logically, extra-planetary flight should take advantage of the light weight and lightening reflexes of children. Not average children, of course; highly gifted children. 8 year olds that function at the mental level of adults are rare; about 1 in 100,000. But that still leaves a reasonable pool from which to recruit.
The ideal astronaut set for inter-galactic travel varies with the social mores. There are those who currently favor five mature adults. In 1940s the ideal Noah’s Ark consisted of one eight year old boy and two seven year old girls. We don’t know if there was only a single breeding set or several, and we have yet to uncover any names. However, when their experimental craft crashed near Roswell New Mexico, more burned up than their three little bodies.
In that tragic accident of 1947, our real chances at space colonization were lost.
Posted on 04-Sep-07 at 9:13 am | Permalink
speedball wrote:
Julie, you’ll find the people on this site to be very knowledgeable on matters of science and UFOs. If you have any questions, I’m sure someone would love you help you out. But I would suggest you do a little research before you come here trolling with your “nutjob” theories regarding legitimate connections between Lisa Nowak and the UFO cover-up.
Posted on 04-Sep-07 at 2:39 pm | Permalink