By now everyone with even an ounce of patriotic blood in their veins is in agreement that global warming is a giant hoax perpetrated by the liberals to attack big oil, U.S. car manufacturers, and family values. What liberals weren’t smart enough to account for during their diabolical strike against the heartland, is the peripheral damage that this epic deception will causing—locally, nationally, globally…and galactically.

My new home state of Idaho is the latest innocent victim of the out-of-control liberal conspiracy known as global warming. By convincing the mentally helpless and perpetually confused that the world is getting warmer and we have to make changes, they’ve unintentionally invited interstellar travelers to visit Idaho (and probably other agricultural areas too).

Since prehistoric times, this region has been responsible for producing upwards of 99% of the worlds potato crops. For those who don’t know as much about potatoes or potato farming as I do, it’s important that you’re aware that potatoes are what’s known as a “near earth crop.” A near earth crop is simply a plant that grows close to the ground; moss and potatoes are both examples of a near earth crop. Corn and tall weeds are examples of what is known as a “aspirational crop” so-named for their characteristic skyward growth which makes it appears as though they are aspiring to be a tree.

Now, this is where science and mystery come together to form something evil that has been caused by the liberals:

While we don’t know all the details, scientists are now in agreement that aspirational plants act as some sort of homing beacon for visitors from other worlds. To date, there is not a single instance of a crop circle being created in a near earth crop. 100% of crop circles occur in aspirational agricultural areas.

What does this have to do with the global warming hoax, liberal conspiracies, and Idaho? Well, the liberals have duped the world into believing their sinister hoax to the point that planning is underway for statewide agricultural remapping of the state of Idaho. What was once a safe haven practically invisible to alien pilots will soon be a giant interplanetary landing platform, filled with aspirational crops like corn:

With temperatures rising and greenhouse gasses building, a University of Idaho agronomist says global warming will bring changes to Idaho agriculture – some that are much easier to project than others.

Crops that prefer a little more heat will be planted in regions of the state that had previously chilled them out, expanding growers’ rotational choices and economic opportunities, says Juliet Windes, UI Extension cereal cropping systems agronomist.

Although she says “it’s difficult to predict the totality of effects,” she is concerned about potentially hotter growing seasons and increased pest pressure, and about reduced winter snowfall leading to decreased water storage.

“Idaho industry is starting to look at the potential economic and industrial impacts of global warming,” she says. “I think we need to be prepared – especially in our water priorities.