So, I’ve been up here in the pandhandle state, Idaho, for nearly several months now. I still have to drive back to to the epicenter of sin known as “Utah” nearly every week to meet with my parole officer or attend anger-management classes where I’m supposedly being taught how to repress my true feelings. (Mostly it’s just a class taught by a lesbian about how to use words instead of fists—I’m sure she knows how to use both quite well).

Overall I have been blessed. In six months when I can finally stop going back for the classes I will truly feel as though my life is perfect—except for some health problems and some issues I’ve been having with my daughters, one of whom is turning out to be a real slut.

My assessment of Idaho so far is this:

• The people are nice.
• There is a lot of diversity, which can be good or bad depending on what needs to get done.
• The women are cows, probably because it’s so cold here and they are trying to keep warm.
• It’s cold. I’ve been digging a tunnel under my property and the frozen ground is very difficult to get through.
• The food is good.

During these winter months I’m staying focused on fortifying my land with supplies and haven’t really had a chance to meet too many people. When I first got up here it was a little warmer and I did manage to make a few new acquaintances while I was evangelizing in town. It’s too cold for that now.

I can hardly wait for the weather to warm up so I can get back to my sasquatch research. If only Yeti were real and I didn’t have a weight problem, I’d strap on some snow shoes and start the hunt today!