It’s nice to see a beautiful young woman who is not ashamed of her chaste lifestyle. Unlike other whores we’ve been exposed to, 18-next-month-year-old, Jordan Sparks uses her slightly oversized mouth to share hope, not STDs and will use her likely immaculate genitalia only to expel waste—not indulge in sin.

I wanted to stay away from ‘Oh, put your hands all over me’-type thing, because I haven’t experienced that yet so the fact that I would sing it would be really dumb — plus I don’t feel comfortable singing stuff like that,” Sparks, who turns 18 in December, said with a giggle.

There may be as many as 200 undiscovered crash sites in the Sierra Nevada range, 6 of which have already been found in the search for Billionaire Steve Fossett. Before the search for Fossett, these sites (and the associated expense of their recovery) could easily be ignored. Now, each of these sites will need to be investigated at a great cost to tax payers.

I propose that Steve Fossett (or his estate) be responsible for not only the costs associated with his own search and, hopefully, rescue…but with the recovery efforts involved in ALL crash sites found during this search. In addition, he should be responsible for paying the families of any victims for funeral arrangements that arise from the recent discovery of their loved ones as this will be an unexpected expense stemming directly from his actions.

Beyond that, it seems reasonable that anything else that is discovered during the search like drug farms, missing persons, or evidence of sasquatch that will require further research or law-enforcement action also be included on that same bill to Mr. Fossett or his estate.

As a side note, I have already contacted the Civil Air Patrol in California and asked that if there is any evidence of sasquatch uncovered during this aerial search that I be contact immediately.

Al-Qaeda, Osama bin Laden, has signed on to participate in a video production that will coincide with the sixth anniversary of 9/11 (I believe that’s the Amethyst anniversary). No word yet on the message he’ll be delivering.

I’ve made no secret about my history of raising dogs for the purpose of dog-fighting. These days I prefer to keep small dogs as pets rather than the larger breeds I bred with and then beat into a fury during my younger days. I still long for a time when dog-fighting becomes a national sport, like football, or NASCAR, and had hoped that a national hero like Vick might be just the man to bring it to the public. Instead he rolled over and exposed his soft underbelly, much like a losing fight-dog with a mortal injury. (Often they will do this during their last moments of life in hopes that by showing their submission they will be spared. It’s very cute, though usually results in near-immediate disembowelment by their opponent.)

I don’t have much in common with Whoopi Goldberg. I have both of my eyebrows—she has none. She has been a participant in interracial relationships—I have not allowed my family tree to expand too far from the trunk. She has unkempt dreadlocks—I prefer the classic flattop. We do have some common ground though, and that’s dog fighting. Apparently Whoopi enjoys the sport and has come to the defense of American African American, Michael Vick:

“You know from his background this is not an unusual thing for where he comes from,” said Goldberg.

“There are certain things that are indicative to certain parts of our country.”

Co-host Joy Behar seemed shocked at Goldberg’s statements.

“How about dog torture and dog murdering,” Behar asked.

“Unfortunately it’s part of the thing,” Goldberg replied.

“You’re a dog lover. For a lot of people dogs are sport,” she added.

Chuck Norris is, without question, the greatest living American blogger, if not the greatest American period! He can fight, he can write. His jeans are tight, and he’s always right. Say what you will about beefcake homos like Jean Claude or Segal—I don’t really care—but if you ever suggest Norris is anything short of brilliant—you and I have a serious problem.

In one of his most recent posts, Norris deftly explains the connections between hispanics (especially those who don’t speak English well), terrorist attacks on US soil (as well as their likely increase as a result of moving terror suspects to Kansas from Cuba), and the duty we owe to the families of the victims of 9/11 to send the illegals back where they came from.

Not one to simply throw out problems caused by liberals that are as simple to fix as immigration, he also lists his solutions. Well, they’re mostly Newt Gingrich’s solutions, but Chuck has conveniently listed them so they’re easy to read in one place. I suggest you go through his articles, and if you’re not already reading his site religiously, you should start.

In my house, when Chuck Norris comes on the television, we stand and solute. I would hope you start a similar tradition in your family, because, as Chuck quotes from the bible, “Like a dog that returns to its vomit [or feces] is a fool who repeats his folly.”

Don’t repeat your folly by returning to your vomit.

Prince Charles’ ghastly wife, Camilla, has elected to forgo her attendance of her husband’s first wife, Princess Diana’s memorial party. Camilla egotistically says that her attendance at the event will “divert attention from the purpose of the occasion…” Evidently nobody informed her which of Prince Charles’ wives the world gives a crap about.

I understand that it’s technically possible that Camilla is just fearful that the same CIA-assassination fate that befell her predecessor may also befall her—but I find that scenario to be highly unlikely. It seems far more plausible that she simply feels her impact on the world is more significant than it is.

By now you’ve heard that America has lost one of its son’s, The Canadian Crippler, Chris Benoit. One of the greatest wrestlers of our time was found dead in his weight room, apparently dead as a result of a self-inflicted suicide.

Many of us first came to know Benoit when he teamed up with Beef Wellington in the early nineties in the World Championship Wrestling league. Others came to know him with he broke Sabu’s neck during a match with the wrestler. However you came to know him, know now that he’s dead. Sadly his wife and son are also dead, possibly a coincidence, but authorities are suggesting that The Crippler killed them before he killed himself.

When a tragedy like this happens, it’s hard to make sense of it. But we should remember that when God brings his children back home it’s because he has a plan that we’re not privy too. I will say though that I’m very excited to find out what he’ll be using Wrestling champions for!

There’s still a lot we don’t know about this story, but I’ll keep you posted as it unfolds.

When it comes to men, I like those who kick butt. Chuck Norris, Airwolf, Bruce Lee if he wasn’t Asian. I like guys who kill, I don’t like guys who play electric guitar. The Nuge has been a bit of a gray area for me. He kills…but he also plays the devil’s banjo. I think now in his golden years though, he’s settled down a bit and is more about killing than about rocking out.

He’s also about telling the truth, no matter how hard it is for liberals to hear.

Though there was more to read than I could get through, the beginning of this article from a few days ago talks about how vegetarians are pushing to get their vegetables into us, but we’re not pushing our meat inside them. We’re the tolerant ones!

I’ve long had a similar argument that we should leave the pedophiles alone. It’s not like they’re trying to turn everyone into pedophiles. Live and let live I say.

Anyway, I’d like to send out a personal thanks to the Nuge for sticking his neck out there to speak the truth on many topics. Ted, if you’re reading this and if you’re ever in Utah, you are welcome to sleep in my guest bedroom if you need a place to crash. (please contact me if you are though, because the room is used mostly for storage right now, so it would be nice if I had a few days so my wife to clean it up for you).

After a series of well-publicized spats with The View cohost Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Rosie Odonnell recognized she was no match for the well-informed conservative powerhouse and promptly quit the show to avoid further embarrassment. She has been released from her contract and has said on her blog that she will likely not speak to Hasselbeck again.

“I was really just like a foster kid for a year,” she said. “I came, you know, we considered adoption, but I didn’t really fit into the family and now it’s time for the foster kid to go back home.“

Well Rosie, if foster kids had a home…why did they ever go into foster care?

Chuck Norris is too humble to admit it outright, but he and I both know the truth…and so does Jesus. In Chuck’s recent article he points out that it is he, himself, who is humble enough to be the champion. But because he is so humble, he can only give us small clues to his greatness and let us do the math ourselves.

From Chuck’s article:

So who’s the greatest?

The truth is I’m not worthy enough to answer that. But there is One who is. And His answer applies to the martial arts as well as any other field of discipline, study or work.

When an argument broke out among Jesus’ disciples as to who was the greatest, He called over a child to their sides, then replied, “Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest … those who are the greatest should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant.”

It isn’t being the greatest champion, but the greatest servant that ultimately matters. I know that might seem easy for me to say, having been a six-time world champion, but I mean it. It took me too many years to realize that it isn’t the ladders we climb but the service we offer in this life that truly makes us great.

There you have it. I couldn’t agree more.