Well, as you’ve learned, I’ve spent the last several weeks in state custody. Due to the ongoing case I can’t comment on specifics but I will say that the charges are bunk and are sexual in nature. They stem from some of my research work and the cattle traps I’ve been setting this year to capture the live bait needed for my Sasquatch snares.

As with many innovators throughout history, my methods and my mind are ahead of their time. I have no doubts that when history looks back on the path that was taken to discover the great ape, it will look favorably on my research and praise my methods as revolutionary and cunning. Until then, I must live with the disgrace brought upon me by a diabolical legal system and the scarlet letter of shame is has branded me with.

As much as it pains me to say, I must leave the only home I’ve known for the last few years and move to a new state, one more accepting of sasquatch research and other so-called perversions. I had hoped to find such a place in Utah, but that is clearly not the case. The people of Utah are a closed-minded bunch, unable to see past their own righteousness to the promise of my bovine lures and their ability to attract hidden primates. The people of Utah have driven me away and I will no longer allow myself to be an asset to such a place. When I am recognized for my work, I will not have Utah listed as my home state. I have chosen Idaho as my new home.

Idaho offers many benefits over my adopted home Utah. With their experience recently dealing with the Larry Craig incident(s), they understand how someone can do something very innocent and be accused a heinous sexual crime. They are also a state who has embraced Sasquatch research, specifically at the Idaho State University where one of the world’s foremost researchers is harbored.

My move is already underway and within the next few weeks I hope to be as far away from Utah as one can get.

I’d like to thank everyone for their support and kind words while I was doing hard time. Your prayers meant more to me than you or I will ever know.

Friend-of-Fixd, Gitty, points to this article at Fox News discussing a team of Bigfoot researchers going to Michigan to search for the great beast. I can’t say I’m too excited about this particular project as they turned down my request to participate in this expedition.

I doubt they’ll have much success without me, but wish them the best of luck. If they find a Sasquatch, I hope they’re able to kill it.

There may be as many as 200 undiscovered crash sites in the Sierra Nevada range, 6 of which have already been found in the search for Billionaire Steve Fossett. Before the search for Fossett, these sites (and the associated expense of their recovery) could easily be ignored. Now, each of these sites will need to be investigated at a great cost to tax payers.

I propose that Steve Fossett (or his estate) be responsible for not only the costs associated with his own search and, hopefully, rescue…but with the recovery efforts involved in ALL crash sites found during this search. In addition, he should be responsible for paying the families of any victims for funeral arrangements that arise from the recent discovery of their loved ones as this will be an unexpected expense stemming directly from his actions.

Beyond that, it seems reasonable that anything else that is discovered during the search like drug farms, missing persons, or evidence of sasquatch that will require further research or law-enforcement action also be included on that same bill to Mr. Fossett or his estate.

As a side note, I have already contacted the Civil Air Patrol in California and asked that if there is any evidence of sasquatch uncovered during this aerial search that I be contact immediately.

You’d think God would have jurisdiction over his own country, but that’s not the case anymore. The Forest Service has stepped in and is making it difficult for a local Bigfoot-tracking team to do their work since they don’t have the proper permits. Please contact your closest Forest Service office and let them know this important work must continue in order for our own species to survive.

Sorry I’ve been so scarce lately, I’ve been planning my study trip to India to research the incredible rise in local big foot sightings. I’ve also been suffering from some new problems related to my digestive system—more specifically, my sphincter.

As I’ve said before, when you’re a sasquatch hunter, you must go where there are sasquae. Lately, sighting have been picking up for the creature around Bangladesh, which I’ve learned is somehow surrounded by India. I’ll be headed there soon to get to the bottom of this and hopefully kill one.

In this article, a man has caught a fish once thought to be extinct:

AKARTA, Indonesia - An Indonesian fisherman hooked a rare coelacanth, a species once thought as extinct as dinosaurs, and briefly kept the “living fossil” alive in a quarantined pool.

Justinus Lahama caught the four-foot, 110-pound fish early Saturday off Sulawesi island near Bunaken National Marine Park, which has some of the highest marine biodiversity in the world.

This not only supports the popular creationist view that man and dinosaurs lived together, but it also helps validate most of the claims of so-called “cryptozoologists.”

I wonder what else we haven’t found…a Sasquatch, perhaps? Quite probable it would seem.

Chimpanzees living in the West African savannah have been observed fashioning deadly spears from sticks and using the tools to hunt small mammals — the first routine production of deadly weapons ever observed in animals other than humans.

As an expert in the field of Sasquatch research, I was notified of these findings shortly after the observations were made. Needless to say I was pretty excited—especially because I may have played a fairly large role in this event (I’ll explain in a moment). Sadly, after reading numerous articles on this discovery, I was again disappointed to see that some seemingly obvious conclusions about the Sasquach/Chimpanzee connection had once again been ignored by the scientific community.

This is the first proof we have showing clearly that a superior creature has taught less-developed creatures knowledge it likely learned by observing humans. The only time this has happened in nature is when man has trained his pets to do certain tasks.

I said I’d elaborate on my involvement in this story. I’ll do so now. Yes, this story especially interested me because several years ago I was a participant in one of the first Sasquatch research expeditions to travel to Africa. For those who have never been there, Africa is a very large place and we had to spend a lot of time waiting around for things to happen. During our downtime we devised several inventive ways to pass the time. Unfortunately several of our guides passed the time engaging in discreet homosexual activities (they were replaced immediately before they were able to jeopardize the expedition)—as for the rest of us, we began to compete against each other in spear-throwing competitions.

These events would go on for days and generated quite a bit of noise, it’s no surprise to me that our frivolity may have alerted local Sasquatch of our presence and they very well could have observed us and even picked up a thing or two.

Sadly, we left that expedition with very little data, but when I heard from my guide (not either of the gay ones, I haven’t spoken to either of them since that trip) that these Chimpanzees had been participating in similar activities, I immediately made the connection.

It’s unfortunate that the scientific community is unable to recognize the obvious.

We are saving less than ever, but we’re making more. This article suggests that the lack of savings in the country is a reason for concern. I might suggest it shows our willingness to invest in our future.

I’ll use myself as an example. I don’t keep a penny and I’m always on the lookout for new credit cards and personal loans. I don’t have any money set aside for the girls college education or my own retirement. I declare bankruptcy every 8 years like clockwork. Many people might look at my financial situation as a mess, and by traditional measurements I suppose that it is. However, if you look at what I’m spending my money on I think you’ll see that there’s a method to the madness, and that method is quite ingenious.

You see, every payday I invest more money in my research efforts. New equipment, travel, books, plastic bags to store stuff in, etc. It all adds up. But I know that when I finally am able to produce a sasquatch or sasquatch body, investors will be lining up to finance my museum. At that point I’ll be able to leverage my personal finance by requiring any investor interested in my museum to also ensure my personal financial stability. At that point my dreams will be realized and my financial future, as well as my place in history, will be secured.

I’m obviously not saying that everyone is a bigfoot researcher, though many are. I’m simply stating that not everyone needs a bank account filled with jewish gold to show they’re financially wise. Some of us think bigger than today’s bottom-line.

It would seem from some of the comments that have been posted that I’ve upset at least one female bigfoot researcher with my previous post about women participating in sasquatch research. This certainly wasn’t my intention. As I said in the original article, I applaud their efforts and in some cases encourage them to do whatever they can to help in the search.

As researchers it’s important that we not get too caught up in the emotion of our work and stay focused on the facts. One fact that I’m sure we can all agree on is that God and nature have a way of assigning specific roles to the sexes—tasks that one sex is better suited for than the other. This isn’t to say that either sex is less important—even though in most cases one of them probably is—it simply means that if we can understand our place in the world, we can better perform the tasks to which we are best suited.

If you look to nature you’ll find many examples—starting in the human womb. Until a human fetus is about two months old the brain has all of the signs of being female. Some fetuses stop developing at this point and some continue to grow until they develop into a male brain. We don’t know why this happens, but it does suggest that the male brain requires further incubation to develop to the unmatched level it eventually reaches. This isn’t to say that women aren’t intelligent, sometimes they are.

In this Darwinian document at The Leakey Foundation, researchers have shown that even today Aboriginal tribes in Australia forage for food in the same way they have for thousands of years. They’ve noted that “Men prefer to track game and women prefer to dig it up.” Further proof that men have been blessed with the gift of tracking and women have been given the ability to dig holes well. This probably stems from an early need for women to dig fire pits for cooking while the men were out gathering meat. Regardless, it does provide evidence that perhaps women are better suited to the stability of home life while men are better at tasks like tracking bigfeet.

These traits aren’t limited to the human world. In the animal kingdom our closest mammalian relative, the african lion, has a clear sexual division of labor. The male is dominant in the pack and has trained the female to not only care for the young, but also hunt for food and even clean his paws in many cases. If she fails to perform her tasks to the male’s satisfaction, he may choose to withhold his seed from her, or even direct the other females in his harem to devour her. Jane Goodall and Diane Fossey have likely witnessed similar behaviors in the primate world, though I must admit I haven’t paid much attention to their work so I couldn’t comment on specifics.

Now, I’m sure I could go on and on and show examples in our society of certain jobs, salaries, degrees, and political positions that would showcase how men have been able to rise to levels of greatness in the modern world. But this would be unfair to women. As the old adage goes: “behind every great man is a good woman”…I think truer words have not been spoken. I can’t imagine my life without the warm touch of my wife—or some other woman.

In closing I’ll say that as we strive to learn more about these mysterious creatures, it’s very common to get frustrated by their seemingly random ways and elusive patterns. It’s easy to forget that underneath it all they are human-like creatures that share most of our DNA. I’m not talking about bigfoot, I’m talking about our better halves…our women. It’s important to remember that even though they need us more, we still need them too—let’s try not to lose sight of that.

Another trip, another disappointment. The footage we viewed prior to the trip turned out to be taken out of the back window of a trailer in a fairly well-developed area. What appeared to be a den of bigfeet turned out to be just some strange shadows on a neighbor’s woodpile. I’m not sure what the movement we witnessed was, but it didn’t look like an environment hospitable to a great ape.

The trip wasn’t a total loss though, I used to hotel pool to rehab the injuries I sustained on the last expedition, I’m feeling quite good and ready for the next sasquatch adventure to begin.