Call me Ishmael, but I hate whales and you should too.

It seems like every day there’s a new story about another whale that was too stupid to turn around before it: A) ended up on a beach B) swam up a river too far and died. This latest story is about a California gray whale that was killed by .50 caliber machine gun fire after being harpooned by Indians. Now, I’m no friend to the Red Man as my readers will attest, but I am even less inclined to side with the ridiculous whales.

Whales are stupid and dangerous, that’s all there is to it. Unlike their distant cousins, the dolphins, whales are some of the dumbest creatures on the planet—too fat to ever make the transition to survive on land, too foolish to learn to breath underwater.

Instead of clever dolphin-like chirps and whistles, they troll through the oceans leaving a noise pollution wake of gargles, burps and fart noises for miles that threatens national security by interfering with the Coastal Underwater Networked Tactical Sonar. They are a drain on our resources, our budgets, our safety, our productivity, and our time.

Because they are protected they require enormous resources to manage, study, and protect. They attract hippies. They are a nuisance to the shipping industry, causing damange to thousands of ships annually. Due to their size, they are hard on the environment. They are one of the least efficient creatures in the world’s oceans consuming millions of organisms daily to sustain their own gluttonous existance.

I’ve been meaning to do this for awhile, but I’m introducing a new category called “Whales” to document the problems that these retarded terrorists of the deep cause us.

Chuck Norris is, without question, the greatest living American blogger, if not the greatest American period! He can fight, he can write. His jeans are tight, and he’s always right. Say what you will about beefcake homos like Jean Claude or Segal—I don’t really care—but if you ever suggest Norris is anything short of brilliant—you and I have a serious problem.

In one of his most recent posts, Norris deftly explains the connections between hispanics (especially those who don’t speak English well), terrorist attacks on US soil (as well as their likely increase as a result of moving terror suspects to Kansas from Cuba), and the duty we owe to the families of the victims of 9/11 to send the illegals back where they came from.

Not one to simply throw out problems caused by liberals that are as simple to fix as immigration, he also lists his solutions. Well, they’re mostly Newt Gingrich’s solutions, but Chuck has conveniently listed them so they’re easy to read in one place. I suggest you go through his articles, and if you’re not already reading his site religiously, you should start.

In my house, when Chuck Norris comes on the television, we stand and solute. I would hope you start a similar tradition in your family, because, as Chuck quotes from the bible, “Like a dog that returns to its vomit [or feces] is a fool who repeats his folly.”

Don’t repeat your folly by returning to your vomit.

14 bodies have been recovered in the Philippines, some of them decapitated, after a deadly attack by Marines on a MILF stronghold, searching for a kidnapped Italian priest.

But Mohagher Iqbal, chief negotiator for the Muslim separatist Moro Islamic Liberation Front, which is engaged in peace talks with the government, said his forces fought back after marines attacked a MILF stronghold.

He denied his forces were responsible for the beheadings, saying he would investigate. Four MILF members were killed in the fighting while seven others were wounded, he added.

When it comes to men, I like those who kick butt. Chuck Norris, Airwolf, Bruce Lee if he wasn’t Asian. I like guys who kill, I don’t like guys who play electric guitar. The Nuge has been a bit of a gray area for me. He kills…but he also plays the devil’s banjo. I think now in his golden years though, he’s settled down a bit and is more about killing than about rocking out.

He’s also about telling the truth, no matter how hard it is for liberals to hear.

Though there was more to read than I could get through, the beginning of this article from a few days ago talks about how vegetarians are pushing to get their vegetables into us, but we’re not pushing our meat inside them. We’re the tolerant ones!

I’ve long had a similar argument that we should leave the pedophiles alone. It’s not like they’re trying to turn everyone into pedophiles. Live and let live I say.

Anyway, I’d like to send out a personal thanks to the Nuge for sticking his neck out there to speak the truth on many topics. Ted, if you’re reading this and if you’re ever in Utah, you are welcome to sleep in my guest bedroom if you need a place to crash. (please contact me if you are though, because the room is used mostly for storage right now, so it would be nice if I had a few days so my wife to clean it up for you).

OK people, this may be the thing we’ve all been waiting for. I STRONGLY encourage you to get to your nearest sporting good store and fortify your armament and load up on supplies. GUNS AND WATER, guys! I’m setting out sand bags in the yard and uncovering some of my hidden sniper holes in case it comes to a traditional battle. I don’t plan on sticking around here though, I have moved a supply of rations to my bug-out survival headquarters.

This could be “it”, and you heard it here first. I’m so excited, I pray this is what we’ve all been preparing for.

I’ve long speculated that because Earth holds the most easily accessible water supply in our solar system, that we’re a sitting target for thirsty aliens. When I said we needed to dye the oceans and major water supplies brown to camouflage them, everyone thought I was a cook (sp?)! So I have just kept my mouth shut except to those around me who are privy to my special escape plans and valuable knowledge of alien operations.

Well, it looks like I may have not been so “crazy” after all, and the invasion may have already begun.

An entire F’ING lake, 100 feet deep, has just disappeared and so-called “scientists” don’t know why!

ALIENS! That’s why, you idiots.

SANTIAGO, Chile (AP) — A five-acre glacial lake in Chile’s southern Andes has disappeared — and scientists want to know why.

Park rangers at Bernardo O’Higgins National Park said they found a 100-feet-deep crater in late May were the lake had been in March. Several large pieces of ice that used to float atop the water also were spotted.

“The lake had simply disappeared,” Juan Jose Romero, head of Chile’s National Forest Service in the southernmost region of Magallanes, said Wednesday. “No one knows what happened.”

If this all goes down before I post again, I’ll see you on the other side, folks. The battle has just begun, remember who you’re fighting for: America!

God bless.

A Jacksonville man grabbed his shotgun and raced to help his just-shot neighbor only to be rewarded by losing his job for brandishing a firearm. This is what happens when homosexuals make corporate policy, folks. It’s time we start rewarding those brave enough to brandish their weapons, not take away their living. Do you really want to make the guy with the shotgun mad, hippies?

“I was expecting work to give me some kind of commendation,” said Bruley, 24. “I was totally blown back. It was a crisis that most people don’t go through.”

Sorry I’ve been so scarce lately, I’ve been planning my study trip to India to research the incredible rise in local big foot sightings. I’ve also been suffering from some new problems related to my digestive system—more specifically, my sphincter.

As I’ve said before, when you’re a sasquatch hunter, you must go where there are sasquae. Lately, sighting have been picking up for the creature around Bangladesh, which I’ve learned is somehow surrounded by India. I’ll be headed there soon to get to the bottom of this and hopefully kill one.

For American hunters like myself, the ultimate symbol of our hunting prowess would be to shoot the ultimate symbol of freedom—the Bald Eagle. Obviously we can’t do this now because the hippies have put the damned thing on the endangered species list, but it looks as though there may be some hope for us patriots in the not-so-distant future.

God willing, it won’t be long before we can all legally have this proud creature—with it’s hauntingly watchful stare—looking over our trophy rooms through it’s carefully reproduced taxidermy glass eyes.

I can practically taste the eagle meat already.

Joey Buttafuoco has been through a lot—most would agree, too much.

This brave man has been forced to start his life over more times than I can count, but he never gives up. That’s the American spirit—never give up hope. Recently he was imprisoned after the government raided his home and found “illegal” ammunition. I guess this man is not allowed the same civil liberties as the rest of America—a man whose life has been turned upside down by violent crime is not allowed to protect his own home?

Well, he’s out of jail and starting over again. I just hope this time society can just let him be. He’s suffered enough.

The government can say what they want about him, but in my book he’s a stand-up guy. He stayed with his wife for years, despite her grotesque disfigurement. That has to count for something.

Hopefully we’ll be able to make some sense of this terrible event. Here is some incite from leaders in our community that can hopefully help put us on the right track to getting the answers we all need:

Dr. Richard Roberts, president of Oral Roberts University:

“Based on what I’ve seen in the news,” Roberts said in an interview, “there’s no doubt that this act was Satanic in origin.”

Roberts added that he doesn’t know if it was Satanic “possession” or “oppression.” Possession, he said, occurs when Satan takes over a person’s life, and the person’s actions are dictated by demonic possession within. Roberts says he’s seen this type and has seen the Devil cast out of a person.

Satanic “oppression,” on the other hand, is “that which comes against.” “It’s not in a person, but is coming against them, trying to put evil thoughts in their minds,” Roberts said.

He said that the evil thoughts in Satanic oppression can be fairly innocuous, or they can be harmful. And the oppression can be in the form of fear, depression or discouragement, he said, because “Satan comes to kill, steal and destroy.”

Roberts says we’ll never know whether Cho was “possessed” or “oppressed,” because the killer has died.

Mark Steyn, National Review columnist, author of America Alone:

“The students at Virginia Tech were grown women and — if you’ll forgive the expression — men…
…It is a poor reflection on us that, in those first critical seconds where one has to make a decision, only an elderly Holocaust survivor, Professor Librescu, understood instinctively the obligation to act.”

Ken Ham, President, AiG-US:

…it’s not God’s fault that there is death and violence in the world—it’s humanity’s fault, because we rebelled against our Creator. Certainly, the shooter at Virginia Tech has to answer for his own sin. However, we still have to recognize that we now live in a fallen world where we have just a taste of what we really asked for in Adam, when the head of the human race disobeyed God’s instruction not to eat the fruit of one particular tree. In a real sense, we are all responsible for the death and suffering we see around us.

Sherwood Ross, columnist:

The American people, including the families of the murdered Virginia Tech innocents, have collective blood-guilt on their hands. I have not gone to jail to protest the war machine, so I am no better than they and probably a good deal worse because I have given the issue some thought. How many of those parents in the audience hearing the President’s words had elected to Congress men and women who voted for lax laws on gun ownership? How many of those parents in the audience had also voted for legislators who backed the president’s illegal invasion of Iraq?

Rush Limbaugh:

This guy, this shooter, he railed against everybody. He railed against women. He railed against Jesus. He railed against all kinds of things — also the rich. Guess what they focus on? Now, why does this guy hate the rich? He’s somehow found a way to go to four years at Virginia Tech. He’s been in the United States for 14 years. Who is it that made this guy hate the rich? Why, there’s only one answer to this! The Democrat Party, the American left and their willing accomplices in the Drive-By Media, routinely portray the rich as a bunch of evil, rotten SOBs who are out to steal everybody else’s money.